When the Romans saw something they wanted, they just whipped out their spears and made it their own. It is the ease with which the Romans could simply lift a leg and march on a city that ranked the Romans as number one amongst their peers.
Asparagus was once free and wild as the breeze it swung in, but when the Romans got a taste for this wee wild grass, they captured and cultivated it for their pleasure. As Roman soldiers continued to assertively mark their territory throughout the known world, so did asparagus following in the soldiers’ tracks.
However, long after the last Roman legions trickled out, asparagus continued to flow steadily throughout the Middle East, modern Europe and eventually made its course across the ocean to the Americas.
Today we can commemorate another asparagus season with this recipe for toast soldiers, asparagus spears and soft-boiled eggs.
INGREDIENTS
Asparagus spears
12 asparagus spears
juice and zest of one lemon
drizzle of olive oil
salt and pepper to taste
Soft-boiled eggs
4 eggs
salt and pepper
Toast soldiers
2 pieces of bread
butter
PROCEDURE
To cook the asparagus
Preheat the oven to 425˚F.
Hold an asparagus by each end in your fingertips. Bend the asparagus, applying slightly more pressure to the fat end until the asparagus snaps. Wherever it snaps is the perfect spot. You can chuck the fat ends and toss all the spears in a single layer in an ovenproof dish. Dirzzle on some olive oil, the zest and juice of one lemon and season with salt and pepper. Toss them with your hands to coat and get them in the oven for 20 minutes. Flip them half way through the cooking.
To soft boil eggs
Get all four eggs in a small pot and submerge by ½-inch in cold water. Get the pot on the stove over high heat. When the little bubbles begin to break the surface 6 at a time, turn on your timer to exactly 4.5 minutes. If the water starts to boil really vigorously, you can turn it down a bit so the eggs don’t get too rattled.
When 4.5 minutes is up, drain the eggs immediately and use a sharp knife to crack them open. Start with a little tap to break the shell, then a quick hard cut to go all the way through. Season the runny yolk generously with salt and pepper.
To make the toast soldiers
Place the bread in a toaster and hit the magic toast button. Pretty soon the toaster will spit out some toast. Apply butter to the toast, then cut it into 4 long strips, or toast soldiers.
Serve eggs in an egg cup along with 3 toast soldiers and 6 asparagus spears.
Four number ones
Modern scientists do not have any conclusive evidence regarding the effects of asparagus on urine. No one has quite been able to narrow down the compound responsible for causing malodorous urine after consuming asparagus. It could be dimethyl sulfide or S-methylthioacrylate… personally I think it’s the methanethiol.
The greater mystery is how and why it affects people in different ways. Only some people produce the sulfurous smelling urine after consuming asparagus but, to complicate things, not every one who produces the odour is able to smell it.
Resulting in 4 categories
Those who produce the odour but cannot smell it
Those who do not produce the odour and cannot smell it
Those who produce the odour and can smell it
Those who do not produce the odour but can smell it in other peoples’ urine
More research is clearly needed on this subject …
Everybody goes a little cuckoo-crazy this time of year.The days grow shorter, colder and more dreary, and the decreasing amount of sunlight has a negative effect upon our mental fitness. You either need a trip to Hawaii or some comfort food to keep your spirits up through our long winters. Sadly, tropical vacations may now be out of reach financially (how’s that RRSP doing?), but the cure for our Seasonal Affective Disorder state can be found within the skin of the plentiful, and pennywise, winter squash.
Don’t let that tough, seemingly impenetrable exterior stop you. People fear what lies beneath that hard shell, which is a shame because beneath its gruff exterior this perfect fall veggie is a gold mine of nutritionally dense complex carbohydrates, vitamins and minerals. What’s more, it’s crazy delicious.
To conquer your squash phobia, you must first put down those out-of-season Mexican strawberries and pick up a gourd. Choosing a squash is easier than you think. For the most part, they’re immune to manhandling and can easily survive the short truck ride from the farm to our local markets and stores. Don’t worry about surface scratches or dirt; you won’t be eating the skin, so just make sure there are no gashes or soft bruises. Load up on a variety of squash now and if you store them in a cool dark spot, they’ll last all winter and probably most of next year.
Deciding which to choose is the least of your worries. From the gnarly skinned hubbard to the elegant delicata and the smooth, familiar pumpkin, gourds all have something special to offer. And don’t worry about what to do with them. There are many ways to cook a squash: puréed in soup, spiced in a tagine, cooked into risotto or baked in a pie.
This brings us back to the real root of our fears: people are most afraid of what they can’t see. To combat that, take our fall-vegetable Rorsquash test, a series of photographs of seemingly randomly squashed squash that are designed to trigger your innermost dining desires. Based upon what you see in these photos, you’ll be able to figure out your squash personality, and through that, unlock the secret to a veggie feast and a SAD-free fall.
Butternut squash
Figure No. 1: You see the remains of an orange-fleshed acrobat that fell from a tightrope to its doom
You must be eating way too many nuts, because you are what you eat. To get back on track, you need to switch to toasted pumpkin seeds.
First, gut your squash by cutting it in half and scooping out the insides. Free the seeds from the gunky stuff and place them in a bowl. Pour in a little oil to coat, and add plenty of salt and some seasoning like paprika or cinnamon. Evenly distribute the seeds on a parchment-lined baking sheet and toast at 160 °C (325 °F) until they are crispy and delicious. Scrape them into a bowl to cool and pick up the phone; sharing the seeds can help you make some meaningful connections with well-adjusted humans who simply don’t see what you do in this photo.
Acorn squash
Figure No. 2: You see roasted squash swimming in butter and salt
You over-complicate your life with meaningless pursuits when you should be trying to simplify things.
Take any winter squash and cut it in half or quarters. Scoop out the seeds and set them aside for roasting. In a deep baking dish, toss in the squash pieces and pour in a cup of water. Tightly cover the dish with foil and put it in a 175 °C (350 °F) oven. After 45 minutes, remove the foil and check for doneness. The squash is cooked when the flesh is tender and you can pull it easily away from the skin with a spoon. Serve hot, with loads of cold butter and plenty of salt.
Delicata squash
Figure No. 3: You see a colourful squash salad
You are restless and can not easily find satisfaction with the ordinary. Clearly, you are tired of the same old cold-weather comfort food and long for brighter flavours.
Select a thin-skinned squash, such as delicata or small pumpkin, so you’ll be able to eat the skin when it is roasted. Slice the squash into rounds or wedges, remove the seeds and place the pieces on a baking sheet. Lubricate generously with oil and season with thyme or rosemary and plenty of salt.
Bake the squash at 175 °C (350 °F) until it is tender and has developed some golden-brown colour. Remove the squash from oven and let it cool slightly. Plate the warm chunks or wedges and top with wedges of fresh tomato, whole pitted black olives, grated Parmesan cheese, strips of prosciutto and a splash of lemon juice or balsamic vinegar. Finish with a drizzle of dark-green pumpkin-seed oil for a surprising aromatic effect.
Buttercup squash
Figure No. 4: You see a bowl of hot, creamy Squash soup
Your life is in shambles, your house is a chaotic mess of disorganization and you crave order.
Use a butternut, buttercup or hubbard squash and roast it according to the instructions above. Scoop out all the flesh and place it in a blender. Cover with warm water and blend until velvety smooth. (Add more water if necessary.) Pour into a pot and slowly heat it through. Add salt to taste, some grated ginger and a knob of cold butter. Serve in a sparkling white bowl with a little dollop of sour cream and fresh cracked pepper. Savour the smooth simplicity.
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- Butternut squash
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- Delicata squash
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- Acorn squash
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- Buttercup squash
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- Tiny pumpkin squash
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- Golden Buttercup squash
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- Golden Hubbard squash
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- Blue hubbard squash
Filed under: spoon
The hands of Babushka-grannies throughout time have been stained red from the battle of the borscht. The global rift of beet soup has been growing for a thousand and one years. The Russians cry for meat. The Ukranians demand tomatoes. The Americans scream for sour cream. The one thing that unites them all is the humble red beet. Open your heart to a world of possibilities and help create a borderless planet of peace and harmony for the great borscht.
INGREDIENTS
12 slices bacon, chopped
1 bottle dark beer
1 red onion, diced
1 red cabbage cut into one-inch chunks
5 beets, peeled and diced
15 lil’ fingerling potatoes
1L beef stock
water
salt and pepper to taste
1 lemon, juiced and zested
1 bunch dill, roughly chopped
500 ml sour cream
PROCEDURE
Get the biggest pot you have. At least 4 L capacity.
To render the fat from the bacon, put it in a large cold pot with a good splash of cold water. Put the pot on the element then turn it up to medium high heat. As the water heats up it will start to melt the bacon fat, drawing it from the bacon. When the water evaporates the bacon will be crispy and the fat will be in the pan. Remove the crispy bacon with a slotted spoon and put it on some paper towel for garnishing later. Drain all but 2 tbsp of the fat out of the pot into an old can, not down the drain.
Saute the onions in the bacon fat on medium/low heat until they become translucent.
Crank the heat all the way up and add the whole bottle of beer and beat back the foamy uprising with your wooden spoon. Then use the spoon to loosen up all the crunchy stuck-on bacon crusties on the pot.
Now just giver willy-nilly. Pile in the potatoes, beets and cabbage. Pour in the beef stock and fill with water until it covers the top of the veggie pile. Crank it until it boils, give it a quick stir, then reduce the heat to medium low, cover it and cook for at least 30 minutes. Stir it every couple of minutes, but don’t rough up the potatoes.
Before you serve, add the zest and juice from one lemon, a whack of chopped dill and salt and pepper to taste.
Slop it in a bowl, garnish it with a gloop of sour cream and top it with the crispy bacon bits. Grab a slab of bread and butta.
STIRRING THE POT
Update your traditional borscht with a variety of fresh veggies ranging from beans, cabbage (red and green),carrots, potatoes, tomatoes… even cucumber. The meat options can include beef, pork, chicken or any kind of sausage. Add some flava flav with rosemary, caraway seed, fennel seed, juniper berries, dill or garlic.
RED ALERT
No matter how often I eat beets, I am constantly alarmed the next day to discover that I am urinating blood…or so it seems. The dye in beets gives your urine a faint red tint and may come as a shock if you are not expecting it. You’ve been warned.
Filed under: spoon
The vagabond was so hungry his stomach wasn’t just grumbling it was calling obscenities.
He finally arrived at a small village and began to ask the villagers for food. But the hungry villagers turned him away because they didn’t have enough to feed their families. It was hardtimes for everyone.
The resourceful vagabond gathered some wood and started a bonfire in the middle of town, then he got a big pot of water on to boil while he fished out what appeared to be a large stone. The villagers watched as this strange man tossed this curious stone into the water. They began to gather around the spectacle.
The vagabond drew a laddleful of the steaming liquid to his lips and tasted it and smacked his lips in satisfaction. The villagers began to drool.
“This sure is delicious rock soup, “ the Vagabond announced “but it could use some carrots, if anyone would like to share this soup, they can add some carrots.” A small boy ran off and came back with some scraggly carrots he was saving. They tossed them in, and after a quick taste it was decided it could use a few more ingredients. The villagers dashed away and pulled up floor boards to reveal their secret stashes. Before long a line had formed of people eager to share the tantalizing StoneWater soup.
No one in the village went hungry that day and they all learned a valuable lesson about coming together as a community.
To make your own sock soup at home, serve your guests a large bowl of plain old chicken or vegetable stock (with or without a stone), fill your table with small bowls of pre-cooked ingredients from each catagory so people can pass them around and create their own customrock soup… just remember to take out the rock or people will be sending you their dental bill.
Here are some suggestions for things to have to customize your simple stock. Give it a community vibe by having people bring one or two ingredients from the list and make sure you have at least two from each catagory.
VEGETABLES
grated carrots sauteed mushrooms grilled eggplant
fried zucchini cubbed roast parsnips roasted celeriac
balsamic fried onions grated beets
STARCHES
cooked raviolis cooked tortellinis boiled potatoes
steamed rice diced roast squash mashed potatoes
PROTEINS
cooked chicken breast sliced ham meatballs
grilled prawns pepperoni stick, chopped hard-boiled eggs
SAUCES AND AROMATICS
pesto good olive oil hot sauce
lemon juice a splash of wine sliced green onions
fresh parsley grated garlic sliced chillis
shaved red onion
